After 1:59 Marathon, Sales Skyrocket for Whatever It Is That INEOS Sells
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Following Eliud Kipchoge’s historic 1:59:40 marathon on Saturday, whatever it is that INEOS sells are selling like hotcakes, Dumb Runner has learned.
INEOS, a huge company with a global presence, sponsored Kipchoge’s quest to be the first runner to break the 2:00-hour-marathon barrier. The INEOS 1:59 Challenge took place in Vienna, Austria, on a closed, flat course.
As news of Kipchoge’s achievement rocketed around the world, consumers flocked to stores to purchase INEOS things, whatever those are. According to the company, INEOS sales worldwide spiked by nearly 1,200 percent in the hours after Kipchoge’s finish.
“We are very pleased,” said Shirley Feeney, an INEOS spokeswoman. “Obviously we are proud of Mr. Kipchoge and his remarkable feat, but we are also happy that consumers today are more aware of INEOS and the multitude of items that we produce, or services that we offer, or whatever it is that we do.”
“INEOS,” she added.
Despite the widespread lack of certainty surrounding what, exactly, it is that INEOS does or what, if anything, it actually makes, runners everywhere were eager to patronize the company.
“I’m taking the whole family out (Sunday) to buy an INEOS,” said Andrew Squiggman, 44, an avid runner in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. “Watching Kipchoge run that marathon in under 2 hours really pumped me up.”
A crowd of shoppers at a local mall expressed similar enthusiasm.
Among them was Lenny Kosnowski, 36, a runner who watched a livestream of Kipchoge’s run. He camped out near the entrance to a Shotz department store so he could be the first one inside Sunday morning.
“I didn’t want to get here late and discover that they’d sold out of INEOSes,” he said. “I’m going to buy as many as I can.”
Retail experts said the sudden demand for INEOS might cause shortages and a spike in prices, and urged consumers to be patient.
“Given time, supply will catch up with demand,” said Laverne DeFazio, an analyst with Carmine & Partners. “And the holidays are far enough away that I’m sure everyone who wants to wake up to an INEOS under the tree will be able to do so.”
