Garmin Enters Running Shoe Market, Because, Fuck It, Why Not?

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Garmin, the GPS navigation giant and maker of wearable devices popular among endurance athletes, today announced a new line of running shoes, because, the company said in a news release, “Fuck it, why not?”

“Nobody wants or needs yet another running shoe brand,” the news release read. “And we already have a ton of products. You know what else we have? About a jillion dollars and some bored designers and stuff, and everyone else is launching running shoes, so, you know, what the hell, let’s do this.”

The first shoe in Garmin’s new line, a neutral “performance trainer” called the Runix, will retail for $149. Despite what some consumers might expect from Garmin, the shoe includes no digital or GPS technology.

“It’s just a shoe,” the news release said.

In a “sneak peek” review published over the weekend, editors at Runner’s World magazine concluded that the Runix has “just the right amount of cushioning” and delivers a “great ride.”

Rumors that Garmin is also developing a line of apparel could not be confirmed. Reached for comment, a company spokesperson gave Dumb Runner a vague response.

“Man, I don’t know,” the spokesperson said. “I mean, maybe? Might as well.”